Wounded and Lonely Ego State Befriends Entity Attachments

By Kryssa Marie Bowman

 _{(This is just a brief excerpt to help illustrate the concept of entity attachments, and how it's no cause for fear, shame, or guilt.)}

I have quite a bit of childhood trauma that I’ve been processing, working through, and healing from for most of my life.  And all things considered, I’m doing a pretty good job of it if I do say so myself. However, there is one wounded child state that has been resistant to changing or evolving or doing things differently because she believes she saved my life when I was 13 years old.  And she’s not wrong.

She wouldn’t come to the surface- or what people in the field would call “the executive state” -very often, but when she did, she would wreak absolute havoc on my life! She was very destructive and high-risk. She was the part that helped me escape after a particularly traumatizing event when I was 13 years old.  She later prompted me to run away to New York City at age 15. She has terrible taste in partners, and she is a master at self-sabotage. 

Whenever things were going really well in my life, she would be lurking just around the corner waiting to pull the proverbial rug out from beneath my feet and leave everything in ruins. You might be thinking that she, herself, was an entity attachment based on this behavior. But no, she was an honest-to-goodness part of me…and I’m still alive partially because of her.

In her own way, she believed she was helping me. She was afraid that when things were going too well for me, someone would take notice and cause me harm.  She was afraid that if I became successful, I would become a target.  If I were too attractive, too smart, too popular, too anything that would cause others to notice me, then I would be in harm’s way. She felt it was her job to jump in and sabotage me whenever I might get too close to the spotlight.  

Obviously, a person can’t live like that, but historically, she was really resistant to changing. She might do a little bit, but it was more to get me to stop pestering her and just let her be because, in her perception, the fact that I was still alive was proof that she was doing a fantastic job of protecting me! But one day, when I could sense that I was just about to blow up my life- precisely because everything was working so well- I decided to go into trance and have a little chat with her.

She was bedraggled, dirty, and angry, and presented herself to me like an adolescent punk rock girlie. I told her I liked her look, which caught her by surprise. I asked her if she was aware that I’m 54 now, not 13 or 15.  She had not realized this. I asked if she thought she was doing a good job protecting me, and she said yes, so I proceeded to show her the wreckage and devastation she left in the aftermath of her “protection”, and I told her that I’d grown out of needing that kind of help.  That the kind of help she was providing was, in fact, causing me and my family great harm.

She was surprised and also apologetic. When it came time to help her evolve, she revealed to me that she wasn’t alone. That she had picked up a few friends in the form of lost soul entity attachments to keep her company since she wasn’t welcome among the family system of my other parts.  They disliked her, (which of course fed into her victim complex). So, in order to help her, I had to first help these lost souls move on to the rest of their souls’ journey. This was my first introduction to the concept that a subconscious part, or ego state,  could intentionally attract- and even invite- entities to attach without any conscious awareness.